


D.D.M.B

by Lasvegolas



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Injury, Derogatory Language, Explicit Language, Insecurity, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Past Relationships, Pining, Self-Hatred, Slurs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:33:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27655535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lasvegolas/pseuds/Lasvegolas
Summary: When you assume you make an ass out of u and me.Aka - Max needs to stop jumping to conclusions.Aka- Idek how to summarise this but it’s Max and Daniel.
Relationships: Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen
Comments: 31
Kudos: 97





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys. 
> 
> Don’t worry I haven’t abandoned Protection Policy but I found this story I’d started a while ago and thought why not post it and see if anybody likes it.
> 
> It’s set very loosely at the start of season 2021 
> 
> Warnings for swearing and Max being Max...

D.D.M.B.

Chapter 1

Max looked at his new uniform shirt with satisfaction. Everybody always said that Red Bull need not even bother issuing new uniform each year, the design changed so little but Max didn’t agree, he liked the subtle variations each had whilst maintaining a standard overall theme. Max liked continuity, he didn’t like radical changes. The dark blue uniform felt comfortable and familiar. The new red stripes down side were quite enough of a update for him. 

He was standing in the drivers mustering room on media day before the first race of the year and he look around with interest, the room was filling rapidly but everybody hadn’t arrived yet. Still Lewis was there uncharacteristically early, the world champion was showing Valtteri something on his phone. Whatever it was seemed to amuse the Finnish driver greatly because he suddenly went off into chuckles of laughter, joined by Lewis. What on earth those two had in common to laugh about Max couldn’t imagine. Unless it was at all the other teams compared to Mercedes, he thought glumly. Preseason testing hadn’t been kind to any team hoping to finally topple the silver arrows off the top of standings.

Red Bull had been best of the rest though and Max felt strongly that some of the planned upgrades might be game changers. He hoped so anyway, what else could he do? There was certainly no seat opening at Mercedes. Would not be for, Max suspected, many years yet despite their little contract saga with Valtteri each season. He wasn’t going anywhere. And besides Max genuinely wanted to be at Red Bull. He firmly believed they were the best team on grid for him, any way thank God he wasn’t at Ferrari.

Thinking about the red cars he looked around and saw both Charles and Carlos standing together. Max studied them both carefully. Charles looked perfect calm, but he was pale and thinner. Carlos on the other hand looked visibly upset, he was probably trying not to be but his emotions showed too clearly in his face. Max sympathised briefly he also couldn’t control his face, only briefly though since he Max, usually just looked angry and ugly. Carlos even when upset always looked ready to do a photo shoot.  
Carlos was now talking in rapid Spanish in a figure in yellow, for a second Max thought... but no it was too short and anyway he knew it was Alonso. Max felt zero interest in the return of the legendary driver, apart from the glaring reason why he was back, who’d left the Renault seat. Max looked around even though he knew Daniel wasn’t in the room. The McLaren drivers were both absent. 

The Williams duo entered and Alex who’d been standing next to him, immediately left Max alone, and flitted to George’s side. Nicolas chatting to Lance who entered with them. The two Canadian drivers seemed very friendly. Max briefly thought it’d be nice to have another Dutch driver on grid but then dismissed thought instantly as bullshit. He didn’t want to share his legions of Dutch fans with anybody. Max disliked sharing the things he loved.

The doors opened again and rest of the drivers streamed in together as a group. Max looked over ready to smile a greeting and then felt his heart stop and sink into the bottom of his sneakers. In walked Daniel smiling broadly as usual. He was looking terrific in the cheerful orange gear of McLaren, which Max had known would suit him. He’d been looking forward to seeing Daniel in his favourite colour regularly. But now it was happening he couldn’t admire it. For there coming in beside Daniel holding his hand, fingers tangled together was Lando Norris.  
For brief moment the pain took Max’s breath then he recovered himself  
“Idiot fool. You knew it would be this way”. He told himself fiercely but he swiftly turn around unable to face the confirmation of his fears. As he spun he saw briefly Carlos stricken face looking also towards the entrance. Max felt a stab of spiteful pleasure at being witness to the Spanish driver’s hurt. Serves him right, he’d deliberately chosen left McLaren for the not so greener pastures of Ferrari, as it turned out, but he’d probably not expected McLaren to act so swiftly and snag Daniel to replace him. Lando who had been visibly upset at loss of his teammate had cheered up remarkably quickly once he’d been told it would be Daniel. 

Max too had been excited and pleased about the news, Daniel needed a good car worthy of his talents, he’d been puzzled and disappointed when Horner and Dr Marko had both appeared intensely irritated over it. Did they truly dislike Daniel so much they wanted him in a bad car, Max couldn’t believe it true. But then as 2020 finally got under way and results came in it rapidly became clear that Max would again, for what ever reason who really cared in the end, be the only fighting driver in the team, Max began it have a slightly inkling of the thinking of the Red Bull team leaders.  
It was about Belgium with Ferrari in meltdown, Renault and McLaren going from strength to strength and Alex still constantly lapping a second down on him Max had suddenly understood everything. He’d been ducking through the garage to change his shoes when he’d overheard Horner talking to Marko in a low voice  
“No go. I offered to refund his contract plus 10% whatever they’d paid him. Zac just laughed McLaren aren’t releasing him for anything.”  
The elder tutted then sighed  
“We knew it was a long shot, and perhaps it’s best, who knows if asked might be he wouldn’t wish to come back anyway.” 

Max had walked dazedly to his driver room and sat there staring at the wall. So that was it why Christian had been so irked at Daniel’s rapid move to McLaren. Red Bull had been considering asking him back but it was to late. Max felt like a present he’d didn’t know he was getting had been snatched away....oh fuck why had Daniel signed so swiftly to McLaren he could have come home instead! But as fast as the thought came, the tail end of conversation floated back and he suddenly intensely relieved the question hadn’t been put to Daniel. Because of course he’d refuse, hadn’t he already left the team once fed up with being Max’s team mate. Daniel had hated working with him so much he’d gone of one of worse teams on grid just to escape. No, no it was better this way Daniel had no reason to not want to go to the rapidly improving McLaren and Max was saved the bitter humiliation of Daniel publicly uttering a scornful refusal to rejoin him at Red Bull. 

Still now Max sourly wished Daniel had just stayed at Renault which after so long actually become a good car. That would have been good. Things between him Dan and him had finally started to feel steady again into a under the current situation. Covid had done that at least. The joy of seeing each other after so long apart had melted the awkward reserves Daniel’s leaving had created. Their friendship starting to warm once again into something deeper.. But no, Carlos had get lured to Ferrari leaving the opening for Daniel to partner Lando. Partner in every sense it seemed. Well Max had expected it, the chemistry between the sparkling British driver and extrovert Australian has been blinding clear. They clearly suited each other, it made sense they would be attracted to each other. They must have spent the entire break between testing and now connecting. After all Daniel certainly hadn’t been in Monaco like he usually was, not bothering to take the lengthy flight to Australia or US. 

Max didn’t like to admit how badly this unexpected change from routine had rattled him. It’s shouldn’t have after all Daniel tended to spend the majority of his longer holiday time away from Monaco. Max shouldn’t have even noticed his failure to return. But he had badly especially when his mother Victoria and her young family all left on a holiday together, suddenly Max felt like it was 2020 all over again. Him completely alone in Monaco without anybody, not even the comfort of knowing Daniel was in the same building even if the other was to busy to actually see him which was usually the case anyway. Max hated the feeling of being alone but he dealt with it and pretended brightly in the phone his mum he was doing great.

Now he knew it was time to pretend again, unable to fake any good expressions Max did what was safe. He let his face move into a default expression of blandness that betrayed nothing other than a flat slight pissed off look. He’d developed this during his karting days after getting in trouble constantly for his father for looking to happy.  
“Why are you looking pleased with yourself for that shit performance?!” Max rapidly realised that it was better not to show contentment, and looking annoyed after a decent race got him praise from Jos for not being satisfied and expecting more!  
Max gathered himself together and looked blandly ahead, replaying the track layout in his head to distract himself.

Daniel Riccardo smiled fixedly through a truly shocking headache as Lando beside him nattered on for what felt like the 8th hour straight about twitch streaming. Although he did occasionally indulge gaming really wasn’t a passion of his . Daniel honestly couldn’t be bothered with it most of the time. He was definitely more of an old school driver who viewed the simulator as a chore not a hobby. He rather go for a run or hit the gym. Lando’s passion for it amused him at first but after spending the last couple weeks with the younger driver he was finding it very wearing.  
His feelings confused him, after he’d spend endless amounts of time, literally days sometimes watching Max play FIFA and Sim Race and it has never bothered him at all. Thinking about it he thought the difference was Max didn’t talk nearly as much. Oh he spoke intermittently during FIFA tournaments  
“Please get me a drink Daniel,” or “That is a terrible song you’re singing....no wait maybe it’s ok,” “Will you make some food soon?”  
Max also had an uncanny ability to play FIFA whilst also keeping an eye and ear on whatever Netflix show Daniel was watching. But during Sim Racing like F1 Max was all deadly silent concentration and nothing distracted him. 

Lando talked constantly and loudly to his online group, on phone, to Daniel and when all other avenues were exhausted the British driver talked to himself. Daniel who despite, or perhaps because of, his extroverted public personality, actually liked to just be very still and silent for long periods at home to recharge his batteries had found him draining. He’d not shown this all because he really liked Lando but secretly wished himself to Monaco, the vision of spending time with Max was relaxing and peaceful. 

Thinking about it now Daniel wondered for perhaps the 500th time, how Max had been during the last while. Had Max been taking care of himself properly. Then he scolded himself of course Max was fine, the Dutch driver knew how important maintaining health was and besides he had Jake visiting daily for training sessions. Still Daniel couldn’t shake a odd feeling that Max hadn’t been alright. Now entering the room he looks swiftly around and a tension he hadn’t realised he was carrying relaxed inside him as his eyes lit on the Dutch driver. Max looked good, really really good actually Daniel thought as he cast an assessing eye over the tall broad shouldered figure. He’d definitely filled out more, must have been working out a lot. And he just looked generally healthy. 

Then Max turned slightly and Daniel’s relief instantly turn to concern as he saw the other’s face. Instantly he knew Max wasn’t in a good mind set and the smile slid of his face completely when the Dutch driver seemed look blindly over crowds apparently not noticing Daniel or anybody else as he turned his focus to the large TV.  
Daniel immediately started to over towards Max, the I’m a perfect son and focused racer expression was one thing he hated. He knew Max tended to adopted it automatically especially when he was stressed but for Max Verstappen most sharp eyed keenly observant driver to pretend he couldn’t see his friends across the room, was unacceptable. Something must be wrong with Max.

“Max. How’s it going mate?”  
There was no mistaking that voice. Right behind him. Max briefly thought of shrugging sulkily but it was burned away by the thrill of fact he had come to him immediately. He spun around happily  
“Hey Daniel, oh and Lando...hi,” he said flatly looking at the younger driver who’d also crossed the room.  
“What’s up Max?” Asked the British driver brightly.  
‘My boyfriend’s cock for you apparently’ thought Max erratically as his gaze went over them, and oh God were they still holding hands, yes, yes they were. Oh fuck had they’d come over to fucking tell him about their relationship? What was he meant to say? Congratulations guys...look here is a fist in the face in celebrate.  
He was suddenly filled with murderous rage and he looked back up at Daniel his eyes glittering with fury.

Daniel wasn’t sure what was wrong, but he knew something was and badly. Max’s expression had suddenly switched from his Bland Robot to what Dan privately called Dutch Demon Murder Baby.  
Daniel was incredibly wary of this expression although he admitted he found it sexy as hell. In the past he’d been guilty of occasionally deliberately acting in ways he knew would trigger it purely for the thrill it gave him. And the sex of course, a pissed off Max was incredible in bed. And they had always seemed to end up in bed together during an argument. A tangle of furious passions followed by something softer and gentle later. The thought gave him a pang of longing. Not just for Max but intimacy in general. Daniel wasn’t sure how long he could remain celibate and wait for Max’s forgiveness. Their friendship was good again probably better really but so far that was all it was friendship. Sex seemed off limits somehow. And as much as he often desperately wanted to grabbed the Dutch driver and kiss him senseless Daniel knew the signal had to come from Max. But it hasn’t come and Daniel had begun to wonder if maybe it wouldn’t. Maybe Max considered that side of things over now. It’d been so long Daniel wasn’t even sure why he was waiting...  
Until now looking into Max beautiful furious face he felt a twist of excitement and he knew. He wait until his last breath, if it meant there was a chance to be with him. Ah Dutch Demon Murder Baby how he’d missed it.  
He just wished he knew what caused it.

Max forced a smile as he felt his rage click to simmering point as he looked at Daniel standing before him, still holding that brat’s hand. What was he trying to do. Rub Max’s face in it that he’d been swapped out for a younger cuter model. How much was he expected to take. Bad enough during Covid when Daniel had posted non stop photos of him in Australia with other men, whom he’d clearly been having it off with. Flaunting it in Max’s face. Marcus and Scotty. Max had spent many paranoid hours lurking on Daniel’s social media accounts studying photos, trying to figure which one Daniel was sleeping with but in the end thought it was possibly both. It didn’t matter, Max didn’t even really think Daniel had been trying to upset him. They hasn’t been together anymore then really, so he had no right to feel a angry and jealous. Although he had bitterly so. But he stamped down those feelings after all it was a strange time and Daniel was a healthy man he couldn’t be expected to last months of lockdown without finding some companionship. Besides it wasn’t as if Daniel was the faithful type anyway. How well Max knew that! It’d been one of the most awful moments in Max’s life when he’d found out that truth about Daniel infidelities. 

It had happened by accident, Max was proud of that at least, he hadn’t been that person the type that goes snooping and prying through their lovers belongings looking for guilt. Besides it had never even crossed his mind as a possibility. No it had been completely random. He’d been alone in his apartment about to begin a sim race, when in the reflection on the screen he spotted Daniel’s backpack sitting on the floor behind him. The dumb fuck must have forgotten to take it last night when he left. With a curse, Max pulled off his headset and got up to move it out of sight. No way he could risk leaving it, some sharp eyed person would certainly see it and put two and to e. Stomping over he snatched up the pack and carried it into his bedroom, throwing it none to carefully onto the bed. Then he’d gone back and forgotten all about it for several hours as he raced and even did a few interviews by phone. 

It has been later when he’d entered the bedroom planning on showering, Max had walked in, in the act of dragging his shirt over his head when he’d saw the bed and cursed again. The contents of Daniel’s backpack had spilled from the open flap, clearly a result of him throwing it easily. Fuck his life. Honesty this ugly bag would be the death of him. Max hesitated for moment half tempted to just leave it all and let Daniel sort it out when he got back that evening. But then he rolled his eyes and advanced towards the bed grabbed the backpack and started to put the contents back inside it. There was a ridiculous amount of junk, honestly no wonder Daniel complained his shoulders hurt, if he was lugging all this rubbish. Max stuffed it all back in. Phone charger, sunglasses broken, sunglasses case empty, a watch, countless hotel menus, at least 13 assorted packs of chewing gum, a iPod out of the dark ages, 5 sets of earbuds, why when he never used them, ooooh chocolate the Australian kind, well Max would take that as payment, various F1 lanyards, a finger spinner, several crumpled timing sheet printouts and what Max recognised as Daniel’s journal. 

It had landed face up and open. He knew it at once. Daniel often sat and scribbled in it. Saying it was really good at helping him clear his head, he’d suggested Max try it. Max nodded but never brought it up again. He wasn’t about to do anything as girly as start a diary, besides it sounded bit to much like some sort of therapy thing to him. Max avoided therapy like the plague.  
He’d picked the journal to put it in with everything but even as he did his eyes fell on the the page covered with the large clear handwriting. You would have needed to be blind or unable to read English not to have taken in at least a few words. And Max had extremely good eye sight and read English perfectly. The words had jumped out at him burning into his brain before he even realised what was happening.

-Last night with Demi was mind blowing. I never experienced something like it. Every time I think it’s can’t get any better between us it does. Best night of my life.-

Max let the book slip through his suddenly numb fingers. Max who until that moment had been, unconsciously, supremely confident, almost arrogant in his hold over Daniel had been completely shattered by the revelation. There was someone else.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. Thank you to everybody who left me kudos and encouragement to go on with this story. 
> 
> Hope you like it.

Chapter 2

Time stood still, Max stood looking sightlessly into thin air. There was a weird roaring sound in his ears and he couldn’t...couldn’t. Nothing. Max couldn’t do anything. He felt like he was paralysed, not his his heart beating. He wasn’t even thinking, his mind was blank. He just stood there frozen as his entire world tilted up on a axis and came down shattering completely. Then also in a dream he bent and picked up the journal again and sitting on the bed he started slowly a methodically to go through it. 

Max told himself over and over to remain calm. Don’t overreact. It was ok. So Daniel had been with somebody. More than once. But things happened. They had a wild crazy life style. Easy enough to fall into a stupid fling that lasted a week. It didn’t mean that it was serious...   
A strange pained sound broke from Max’s lip as he found mentions of Demi throughout the journey dating back several months, from almost the start in fact. Mentions that coincided with, oh God, entries about him! Any frantic excuses Max was making up in his mind shrivelled away in the face of proof Daniel had been seeing this person regularly whilst he and Max where together. 

There was plenty of mentions of Max as well, Max read them desperately, a cold feeling rising as he soon realised that not once did Daniel write about him with the same infatuation as the did with Demi. Daniel wrote about him Max frequently, and while there was some clearly fond entries (Max won in Brazil. So proud of him) (Great day out on the boat with Max) it was mostly general stuff or even complaining. (Max tried to cook again, burnt everything). In contrast every entry referencing Demi was Daniel writing almost wondering about how amazing they where, how incredible the sex was and, Max eyes blurred, how much Daniel loved them. 

Max stood up and dropped the journal back on the bed. Taking a deep breaths, he clenched and unclenched his fists trying to calm himself down into a reasonable state of mind. He knew what he had to do, of course, he had no other option. He had to toss Daniel out of his life. He’d do it. First Max thought he’d just confront Daniel. Then shying away from that he thought he’d just gather up all Daniel’s stuff in the apartment in a garbage bag and go dump it all outside Daniel’s own door. That would get the message across clearly enough. No need for words. Max would do it right now. 

20 minutes later Max was standing in the middle of the apartment. An empty garbage bag on the floor beside him. Suddenly the apartment door opened and in came Daniel, flushed and sweaty. He’d clearly been running. Michael’s favourite way of ending a training session was to make Daniel run or jog home. Seeing Max standing there he looked surprised, but a huge smile broke across his face. Bouncing over he grabbed Max, lightly by the shoulders and dropped a warm kiss on his face.  
“Hey you. Whatcha doing. Omg don’t tell me you’re actually finally going to clean out the fridge.” He laughed kicking the plastic bag lightly.

This was the moment, right now, Max knew it. Right now he’d confront him. Kick him out. End it. Max opened his mouth.  
Daniel ruffled his hair, a faint frown appearing on his face as he looked at him.  
“Max, you ok babe?”  
Max swallowed, as he looked into Daniel’s warm brown eyes, eyes that looked so full of affection and concern. Jesus if he hadn’t read the truth, he’d never ever have believed even for a moment that the man standing before him didn’t love him. But he did know so he had to...he had to...  
He couldn’t.   
Max nodded reaching out and patting Dan’s chest reassuringly.  
“Mmm, yeah I’m fine.” He leant in a brushed a light kiss on the side of Dan’s mouth then ducked out from his arms.

The Australian nodded seeming reassured, then announced he was hitting the shower. Max didn’t answer. Later Max stood giving himself a strict talking to. How fucking pathetic was he? Would he’d rather be treated like some clueless chump than lose his boyfriend. A boyfriend was was apparently screwing around, so clearly valued Max less than dirt. No way. He was a fucking Verstappen. Nobody treated a Verstappen like this. What did it matter that Daniel was the only person who ever made Max feel truly happy. False happiness wasn’t worth shit. Nodding to himself, Max turned as stormed towards the bedroom.

He burst in just as still slightly damp Daniel was pulling on his boxers. The Australian looked startled but gave Max a waggle of his eyebrows.  
“Whoa, too late you missed the towel show Maximus. But you know I could start over ...” he ran his thumb around the waist of his underwear suggestively.  
Max ignored him, instead he gestured to the bed with the backpack and journal still laying on in.  
‘I read your journal. It fell out when I chucked your bag on the bed. And when I went to put it back in, it was open, I read it.” Max spoke in rapid tone, afraid if he hesitated he’d fail again. Then he stopped and felt a relief. There he’d done it. It was out now. Now for Daniel’s reaction. Max wondered what it would be. Blustering denials that Max had gotten the wrong idea, he could explain it away. Defensive anger, oh what now you’re spying on me? Serves you right finding something bad out! Laughter? Oh you finally figured it did you.”  
Heart hammering Max waited.

Daniel blinked. He looked at the journal and shrugged like it didn’t bother him at all.  
“Oh ok,” he nodded.  
Ok? That was his reaction.  
“I read your journal aka diary,” Max repeated loudly to make sure Dan actually got the point of the situation. Again the other nodded almost bemusedly.  
“Alright? That’s fine-” he stopped a light of realisation dawning on his face and Max’s chest tightened, ah here it was then, but Daniel went on,  
“Oh is this what was bothering you in the kitchen before? That you read my journal? Shit Max that’s totally fine. You can read it, I told you check it out ages ago remember?” He looked at Max reassuringly.   
“I...but,” Max mouthed and Daniel smiled at him fondly.  
“Oh Max Verstappen you really felt guilty. Awww one day I’m going let it slip you’re such a good guy under it all. But seriously it’s alright. Stop worrying. Nothing in there you can’t see babe, I ain’t got no secrets!” He laughed and wriggled his eyebrows again.  
“Now about that towel show?”   
Max laughed weakly and rolled his eyes, as he left the room.

Back out in the main area he sunk onto the sofa in daze. Of all the reactions he’d predicted complete and utter calmness and unconcern wasn’t one of them. Daniel hadn’t been alarmed or worried at all. He certainly hadn’t acted guilty. He even seemed almost pleased Max had read it. Well hadn’t he said he’d invited him to before, had he? Probably. Maybe he wanted it like this, for Max to know the truth. For Max to understand what type of relationship it was and have no expectations. Did he really think Max would put up with that scenario. Daniel having other lovers. Of course he did, Daniel knew exactly what the real Max was like after all didn’t he. He knew Max in a way nobody else did. Well now it was up to Max to prove him wrong and end it.

He didn’t. Faked or not in the face of Daniel’s smiles and loving affection Max couldn’t ever bring up the will to speak. But the relationship ended anyway. Destroyed by a multitude of things...the pressure from team, incidents on track that turned into fights at home adding to the growing tension in their private life, their partnership at Red Bull grew steadily more and more toxic until it imploded resulting in Daniel leaving the team. Throughout it all the Australian acted like it was only the cars. But silent between them was the fact that their sex life had petered out to nothing. Max just couldn’t let Daniel touch him. He tried but he couldn’t. And Dan never pushed it, never had, if Max shrugged off his hand or turned away in bed Daniel accepted it without any questions. The Australian had always respected Max’s lead on sex and never tried to change his mind. This which Max had liked to much about him, was suddenly the tigger of dark resentment. Max would lay seething in dark, feeling pent up and horny, thinking that if Daniel really desired him he’d make a move. But he wasn’t... why? Probably having plenty of sex with Demi, yes that was it! In the end Max had convinced himself Dan’s gentleman behaviour was actually the result of being so satisfied elsewhere not even caring if he slept with Max at all. 

Dan had signed with Renault. Max had returned home one day to find the his apartment cleared of all the Australian’s belongings. His key on the table. Everything over. They didn’t speak for months. Maybe they never would have but off season is a long time and pain heals. And Formula One is a weird gold fish bowl where there are so few people you actually like, it impossible to avoid them. Beside Max in end hadn’t wanted to. He been cheated of Daniel’s love, why should he lose his friendship permanently as well. Slowly over time and randomly press conferences and interviews together things healed. Not to the same level but Max felt confident in say they were friends again. Friends who knew what each other’s cum tasted like. 

Now as he stood there looking at Daniel and Lando standing there holding fucking hands like some twisted version of Romeo and Romeo. Max knew even friendship was impossible. He’d had to cut them both out of his life completely. That or kill them. Max was after all his father’s son. He knew he was capable of it. 

Then before his eyes Lando was bringing up those said hands and very hands saying  
“This is starting to pinch. What’s the time?” He looked at Max but it was Dan who replied, dryly checking the watch on his free wrist.   
“It’s 17 minutes and 25 seconds,”   
“Is that all seriously?!” Lando said in a aggrieved voice.  
“Is that a a fucking finger trap!” Burst out Max in disbelief googling at the small paper contraption linking Lando’s and Daniel index fingers together. Lando nodded grinning up at him him manically.  
“Sure is! Dan and I are going for the world record!!” He exclaimed excitedly.   
“A record we don’t know for sure even actually exists,” said Dan rolling his eyes.   
“Even better we’ll be ground breakers, The world record finger trap done by team mates. Just imagine we’ll be in the Guinness Book!” Lando bragged. Daniel smiled weakly. Max stared at them.

Looking thoughtful Lando added “Dunno how long of a time we’ll actually manage to set but we’ve got like all of today and most tomorrow before we definitely need to separate to drive...what do you think we’ll - owww HEY”   
His speech was cut off into a exclamation of pain and surprise as Max suddenly grabbed both Lando and Daniel’s wrists above their linked hands in a tight clasp with his hands and with a rough motion yanked them apart. The sound of the paper finger trap ripping asunder broke across the room with loud cracking sound that brought the entire room to immediately silence. Everyone turned to look. 

“What the hell! What did did you do that for?! My record!” Shouted Lando angrily as Daniel just stood his eyes wide.  
“Thats about the only record you could hope to achieve. Why don’t you grow up and act like a professional driver. Instead of like total fucking child,” Max hissed at Lando venomously and other stepped back in shock a look of fear flashing across his face. Max’s words sounded clearly in the silent room.  
Looking up Max saw the shocked and outraged eyes of the the entire grid on him. Daniel looked horrified. Holding his head high, because it was all he knew how to do, Max met their looks with bold angry eyes for a moment then he turned and left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it. Love hearing your views.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a great review reminding me to add to this story, so here you go. 
> 
> Trigger Warning- I added tags but just wanted to warn you is some pretty nasty homophobic stuff said in this chapter so please proceed with caution if that’s something that might affect you negatively.

Chapter 3

Once out of the room Max’s carefully normal steps became rapid as he immediately broke into a run. Suddenly desperate to be alone he dived into the nearest bathroom and stared at his reflection in the mirror.   
“I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care.” He mouthed at himself fiercely.   
Fuck it all. Who cared anyway. He was already public enemy number one. This was probably a good thing. Now everyone hated him. Well good he’d be left alone to focus on what was truely important, racing! He was glad. Being alone was what he wanted! Max nodded to his reflection over and over repeatedly. Then he smashed his fist straight into the image his own face.

The glass shattered loudly, the sound echoing. Max stood breathing rapidly looking blankly at the blood welling up over his still clenched fist. It didn’t hurt. 

Then he flinched in alarm as the bathroom crashed open as Dan entered looking furious. The Australian usually so friendly and approachable looked like a avenging dark angel as he bore down on Max his face alight with so much anger Max suddenly thought he was going to hit him.  
“What the hell is your problem Max? Why did you like such a shitty thing to Lando for?” He shouted the questions and something snapped inside Max.  
“LEAVE ME ALONE” he screamed his voice coming out high and reedy. In complete panic he reeled away from Dan along the line sinks. His shoes crunched on the broken glass littering the floor. Dan froze, the anger on his face turned in alarm as he looked around the room properly and saw the chaos. Then his eyes landed on Max’s hand and he came forward again this time in alarm.  
“What happened in here... Max you’re hurt!,” he cried rushed over to and trying to take his hand to see it properly.  
“No, go away!” Gritted Max hunching over a sink away from him. “Just piss off ok. Leave me alone,”   
The Australian ignored him and immediately started to pull on his arm to get a better look at his hand. Max resisting the whole time.   
“No way, my god Max you’re bleeding. Let me see it. Right now Max. Let. Me. See.” Daniel’s voice became more and more authoritative until the last it a deep voiced command. Clearly he expected complete obedience. They stared at each other blue eyes locked with dark brown. It was Max who lowered his gaze first. 

Silently Max relaxed his body and allowed the other to turn him around so he could hold his hand up to the light. He looked to side as the other checked his injuries.   
“Shit Max. You’ll have to go to medical. The cuts aren’t deep but there could be glass inside,” fretted Daniel as he turned Max’s hand about frowning over it.   
His hands were incredibly gentle throughout , as he wiped away the blood with damp paper towels and made Max a makeshift sling with his belt, but when at last satisfied and he stepped back, his voice was not.  
“How dare you.” The words sounded like ice over gravel. Max turned to look at him his eyes resentful as he met Daniel’s dark eyes.

“Oh yes do continue. Where were we? I’m in trouble for upsetting precious Lando right? ” he said smiling mockingly but the fake smile fell off his face at look on Daniel face. The Australian might have been outraged before but now he coldly furious  
“Don’t talk bullshit,” snapped Daniel “You know what I fucking meant.”   
“How dare you deliberately hurt yourself” He took Max’s chin in his hand and tilted his face up to meet his eyes. Max saw the look of betrayal in them.  
“How dare you make me use that voice on you”. Max shrugged but he met Daniel’s eyes and felt a stab of guilt. But he brushed it aside roughly and he did the same with Daniel’s hand. Swatting him off as he stepped away from him. Who was he to lecture him on behaviour anyway.

“Whatever.” He said dismissively and turned to go. Doing so he missed the look of anger flashing across the Australian’s face. 

“How disobedient. Huh have you been taking orders so often lately, it’s meaningless?” the second the words left his mouth Daniel regretted them. Seemingly harmless even if you got the snide meaning but the way Max’s back went rigid, he knew the bullet had hit a vulnerable target. Max seemed to take an endless time to turn around and when he did the fury on his face showed the return of the side of Dutch driver that so thrilled yet unnerved Daniel. Dutch demon murder baby stared at him with burning eyes. 

“Say that again to my fucking face you cunt,” hissed Max through his teeth as he stared at him  
“Go on Daniel, again. I fucking dare you,”  
Daniel stepped back he genuinely regretted his hasty words, because they were spiteful but also he knew just how Max struggled to accept that side of his own nature. It had been a terrible effort for Max to even admit it to himself, let alone share it aloud with him and it was something deeply private only between them. And despite his accusation Daniel would bet winning a title of fact Max hadn’t told anybody else. The Dutch driver was too paranoid. By referring to it like that, it felt as if he’d spat directly into Max’s face. 

“No. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” He said raising his hands in apology. “That wasn’t cool. I didn’t mean it Max,”.   
But his words seems to only upset the Dutch driver more.   
“Yes you did!” Accused Max sharply “You meant it! Is that what you think of me eh? That I’m some slut who goes around spreading it for anyone with a cock!”   
“Shit no Max! Come on no. Look I was out of line ”  
“You think I’m just some pathetic little submissive bitch don’t you. You always did. Admit it!” Breathed Max who seemed to vibrating with distress, tears in his eyes. Daniel felt stab of real alarm at the dangerous area they were going into. Max’s hang ups and self loathing about his sexuality were deep. It had a constant battle to help the younger driver accept himself and feel safe in exploring his desires.   
Max’s current dreadful mindset coupled with his wildly unpredictable temper was something truly frightening to Daniel. Unbidden the memory of past times he feared Max, trigged by his homophobic upbringing, might be overwrought enough try to harm himself flashed through his mind.

Swiftly he moved and caught Max by the shoulder and his free wrist. Holding him captive.   
“Don’t you EVER talk about yourself like that!” thundered Dan. “Don’t you dare,”  
“There is nothing absolute nothing wrong or bad with you. It’s completely natural,”  
Max scoffed and it was contemptuous sound.He twisted his face away.   
“Oh yeah, wanting to be held down and rammed into the mattress until I cry, that’s completely natural isn’t it. Wanting to be bossed around. Completely fucking normal. Not faggot behaviour at all,” his voice was full of disgust.  
“Don’t call yourself that. It’s a ugly untrue word,” Dan’s voice was clipped.   
“I am ugly! That’s the truth isn’t it. Max Verstappen next world champion. What a fucking joke. I proved it this year didn’t I. The only thing I know about getting poles is taking them in the ass” cried Max wildly.  
Daniel’s hands tightened convulsively on him.  
“Stop it Max! Right now. Stop say that ugly shit. It’s wrong! Don’t speak about yourself like that.” he ordered roughly giving Max a little shake. 

The Dutch driver didn’t even seem to hear him.  
I’m pathetic...I couldn’t even do gay right could I? No wonder you found somebody else back then,” Max muttered almost to himself and Daniel frowned in confusion.  
“Somebody else? Back then...Max what are you talking about?”

Max gave an angry huff and wrenched himself out of Daniel’s hands.

“Oh let’s not bloody pretend anymore Daniel. What’s the point? I knew all about your other lovers while we were together! Well fine I guess I don’t blame you...  
I admit yeah it hurt but makes sense really. Putting up with having to fuck me, of course you’d want to be with somebody who’s not a freak. Enjoy yourself with a omebody actually normal.” Max voice wobbled slightly at last sentence but he smiled fixedly through it to show it was ok and he understood. This was good clearing the air once and for all. Now all Dan has to was to nod make a crude joke in agreement and they’d laugh it out. Put the whole pile of crap behind them. It was what they did. 

But Daniel didn’t laugh. He didn’t even smile. He stood looking oddly blank his hands still half in the air and staring at Max with wide eyes. He titled his head and blinked.

“Ah you seriously telling me, you think I was cheating on you?” He sounded amused like he was asking about the weather. “For real Max, you don’t think I’d look at anybody else when I had you ...”

“Oh just stop it Daniel! It’s ok, I know alright. You don’t have to pretend anymore. You don’t have act like I was good in bed. I know I wasn’t alright. Like I said I understand. You don’t have to fake it to protect my feelings. It’s ok! I read your goddamn journal didn’t I? I know how it was!” Max cried turning away, his face burning crimson. 

Daniel didn’t move he looked at Max with a wrenched emotion flickering across his face. His eyes looked tortured.   
“I put up with having to fuck you...” He breathed softy almost to himself and then swallowing “and you actually believe that don’t you,” it wasn’t a question and Daniel sounded actually in pain.   
“You really have such a low opinion of yourself that you think I forcing myself to be with you and you’re so obsessed about it that you’ve actually invented other lovers for me, oh Maxie...” he stepped towards him and Max lost his temper completely.

“JUST STOP IT. I READ YOUR JOURNAL. I READ IT. I KNOW ALL BOUT DEMI AND WHO EVER ELSE,” Max screamed. “Just stop it please.” He added hoarsely, his voice almost begging the last sentence. He couldn’t do it any. He just couldn’t. 

Daniel didn’t answer. The Australian has gone deathly pale standing looking at him a dawning realisation of horror on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Max I’ve really messed him up in this one. 
> 
> This is a work of fiction and nobody should ever have or express views like what Max expressed in real life.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed it. What did you think? Should I continue it? Please let me know.


End file.
